When some one feels wronged by you, you may not agree they should feel wronged, but if you love them you will have compassion for them.
The cruelest act is no act.
The cruelest judgement is no judgement.
Deciding to be non-judgemental is an excuse to escape from acting to help oneself and others.
Instead, use your power of judgement to determine what is right and wrong and seek to bolster in oneself and others what is right and to overcome that which is wrong.
Loving is the act of doing, judging tells you how to act next.
To have compassion for others starts with judging them positively. To have compassion on oneself is no different.
We see the good in others by first recognizing that each person is a unique creation and then looking to find the unique special gift that God granted them with out trying to compare them to others or ourselves.
You know you are growing when you see the good in everyone one is greater than their faults.